Gergő Balogh, PhD.

Researcher and Software Engineer

Description

A student frequently checked their phone, missed instructions, and needed information repeated, creating a real drag on the flow of the session. Yet alongside this, they were consistently polite, thoughtful, and articulate—when they did tune in, their responses showed sharp insight and genuine interest. I had to consciously set aside my own pride and irritation to acknowledge these strengths; this wasn’t wishful thinking but an honest recognition that their potential was real and visible. Following the spirit of Mentor Metta—“teaching is patience, not pride” and “I speak the truth, but with constructive intent” —I held them accountable without lowering standards or sacrificing class time for others. After class, I spoke with them privately, affirming both their strong abilities and the possibility of personal issues affecting their focus, while clearly explaining how inattention could limit the expert they could become. My intention was not to vent but to support their growth. Though the habit didn’t disappear immediately, I noticed early signs of effort, and they thanked me for approaching the issue respectfully and believing in their potential.

Practical Tips for Tutors

  • Name the behavior without taking it personally. When a student is inattentive or distracted, calmly point it out and restate expectations—your role is to inform, not to react.

  • Actively look for genuine strengths and reflect them back. Even when a student’s habits are frustrating, deliberately identify real qualities—politeness, insight, quick thinking—and use these as anchors during feedback.

  • Give honest, private feedback that ties behavior to long-term consequences. Speak with the student individually, acknowledge possible personal struggles, and explain how attention and engagement directly shape the professional they will become.